Not everyone has a bubbly temperament. I know I don’t. Joy will look differently for different people. We certainly don’t mean “put on a happy face” when we speak of joy. It is more than a happy feeling. Feelings can be momentary and fleeting. Joy is sturdier, weightier, and deeper than that.
How would you define joy? It’s not easy, is it. It is about as difficult as trying to define love or hope. But you know it when you see it, and you certainly know it when you feel it.
What I mean by joy is having a hopeful and peaceful outlook on life. It is accompanied by contentment and gratitude. Joy is a disposition, a mindset. This inward state of mind will often be expressed in some kind of merriment—a smile, a chuckle, or a full belly laugh. Isn’t it true that joy often leads to laughter and laughter can produce further joy. And laughter, as they say, is good for your health, and it is contagious. But joy can also be expressed by tears. When we feel overwhelmed by joy, we may be moved to tears. And sometimes our joy is mingled with sadness. As I have been sharing in recent blog posts, with the loss of my wife, I often have memories that are both joyful and sad, and I may have tears of joy.
Joy and happiness are often used synonymously, but they differ in some important ways. Happiness tends to depend on the circumstances of our life at any given time. When things are going well, we are happy. When things change, our happiness disappears. Or maybe our circumstances don’t change, but we get used to it; it becomes ho-hum, and our happiness fades. Joy is not so fickle; it is not dependent on circumstances. Joy is enduring and can even thrive in hardship. To live with joy is to live with wonder, gratitude, and hope.
Also, happiness tends to be individual and self-oriented. We may ask, “Are you happy right now?” Whereas joy is others-oriented and self-transcending. We are always joyful over something or someone. Joy is often unexpected; it catches us by surprise, as C.S. Lewis discovered in his autobiography, Surprise by Joy.
There is something elusive about joy. We don’t find joy by seeking after joy. The search for joy leads to frustration. If you see a book with the title, “Three Easy Steps to Finding Great Joy,” don’t buy that book. It doesn’t work that way. We discover joy by seeking something else. Joy is a by-product.
Ah, but what then is the product? What is that prize that will finally bring us joy? Well, as we said, joy is self-transcendent; it is others oriented. If you have experienced sincere love toward someone, and you have been loved by someone in return, you know that this brings us great joy. However, if that love is lost, it can leave us more miserable than we were before and leave us wondering if it was really worth it. We may be very hesitant to open ourselves up to that kind of relationship again. Or as in my case, if that loved one dies, the intensity of grief can be overwhelming. Though I would not trade our 56 years of marriage for anything in this world.
But there is another, even more enduring way to discover joy. And that is to transcend not only ourselves, but to find something beyond human relationships.
That great prize is Jesus and his joyful kingdom. In his parables, Jesus talked about a man who discovered a hidden treasure in a field, “and in his joy he went and sold all he had and bought that field.” And again, there was a merchant looking for fine pearls, and when he found one of great value, “he went and sold everything he had and bought it.” (Matthew 13:44-46).
Of course, the kingdom cannot be bought, but the point is that its worth is so much greater than anything we can imagine; it is not to be compared with any riches or fame or power. It is the kingdom of love and joy and peace. It is where Jesus reigns with forgiveness and cleansing and fulness of life.
It is that great treasure that brings us joy, joy, joy. It is a gift that Jesus offers to the prodigal son who returns. It is pictured as Jesus rescues the one lost sheep and brings it safely back to the fold. (Luke 15). Jesus and his kingdom offer joy that cannot be lost like broken-hearted love, or the passing of a loved one. In fact, Jesus offers comfort even to my grieving heart with the loss of my wife and the hope of life eternal.
This is why there are not “three easy steps to finding joy.” But there is one path to travel where we will find incomparable joy. It is the divine path that leads us far beyond our own resources and striving, to resting in the arms of Jesus. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3).
Are you searching for joy? You may be searching is all the wrong places. We may be striving and researching and seeking enlightenment when the kingdom of God is right there in front of us. All we need to do is to recognize our spiritual poverty and in humility receive this gift. Jesus has already paid the price through his death on the cross.
Thank you so much Dan for these wonderful words of wisdom that have God’s power behind them!
Carol, thank you for your note. I have long appreciated the Brother Lawrence book on Practicing the Presence of God and have read it several times. I don’t think I am saying anything very different, just exploring how the practice of the presence of God can and should result in greater joy in our lives. And from all that we know about Brother Lawrence, this was something that his life exemplified. This is the direction of my blog and also my book, “An Invitation to Joy: The Divine Path to Human Flourishing.”