I am not good at acknowledging weakness. Most men have trouble with this. According to Brene Brown (Daring Greatly and TED Talk fame), the most common shame factor for women is body image, and the leading shame factor for men is weakness. As I mention this to people, I regularly get nods of “oh yeah.”
I don’t do weakness. But here I am, alone, six weeks after my wife, Sharon, left this world for glory after a long experience with cancer. And I am grappling with what it means to be “widowed.” I had to check that box on a form in a doctor’s office recently and it jarred me. And I am feeling as weak and vulnerable and helpless as I have ever felt in my life, at least in my adult life.
How am I doing? Wow, this is humbling and scary and very uncomfortable. And I think Sharon would be proud of me for admitting this.
Against this backdrop, I am writing again about childlike joy and trust. Last week we started to talk about trust.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
But what does it mean to really trust in the Lord, and what did Jesus mean when he said, “Unless you become like one of these children, you cannot enter the Kingdom?” (Matthew 18:3). Children know how to trust. They must trust their parents and other caring adults in order to survive.
In the first Beatitude, Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:3). And this seems to be the key to unlocking all of the Beatitudes and unlocking the Kingdom. It is when we recognize our spiritual poverty, our utter dependence, like little children, casting aside any trace of pride or self-effort, that we are ready to receive his Kingdom, his joyful Kingdom. And all of us who have come to genuine faith in Christ have passed this way, we have come in all humility and recognition of our spiritual poverty.
It is also a profound act of trust, this letting go of our pride, our merits, our strengths, and our cleverness to tackle any challenge that comes our way. And we find freedom in this trust.
When hard times come—suffering and loss—our faith and trust are tested in new ways. Is God trustworthy? Can I trust him even in this? Is he my loving Heavenly Father who always wants what is best for me?
But when all the props are knocked out from under us, what are our choices? Either trust or despair. And I am choosing to trust. It is a wonderful discipline. “I am trusting you this day, Father, to see me through it, to show me the way forward.”
Among other things, I have been reading George MacDonald’s Unspoken Sermons. C.S. Lewis often recommended these writings to friends, saying that he believed anyone would be spiritually enriched by them. One of MacDonald’s regular themes focuses on the relationship between the Father and the Son. It is a relationship rooted in trust and love.
Jesus’ perfect trust in the Father means that he is also perfectly at home in the world and can move about it with a sort of light mobility, for the world is the Father’s. Because of this complete trust in the father, the true child is in harmony with all of God’s creation. Rather than a heavy struggling with nature to provide for one’s needs, the child has a sense of supreme liberty and lightness and can play and delight in all of the Father’s works. He exists in a state of ‘divine carelessness.’
Your heavenly Father knows what you need. As he cares for the birds of the air and the flowers in the field, will he not much more care for you? (Matthew 6:25-34).
The question is, can we let ourselves be a child before him, trusting him to meet our needs day by day. When things are going smoothly and we feel like we are strong and in charge, it is very difficult to trust. But when all that we have known, all that is familiar to us is taken away, we gladly run into the Father’s welcoming arms.
Lately I have been practicing joy by watching the birds in my yard flirting with one another. It is mating season and nesting has begun. I have also been gazing at a photo of Sharon we took during tulip time in Holland MI. It is tulip time again. I am deciding to live this day trusting the Father to care for me and that gives me joy.
How is your trust factor lately? Do you sense that freedom and lightness of being that brings great joy? Increasing our trust level will bring us more joy at every turn in the road.
