Practicing the Presence of Joy

Is it possible to know joy even in times of sorrow, sadness, and suffering? I thought I should pause and share some thoughts from my own present experience. My main role right now is as primary caregiver (with wonderful help from family and friends) for my wife of 56 years. She is in hospice care at home with stage four breast cancer. At the same time, I am being treated for bladder cancer. Given all this, how am I doing with this joy project?

I have written and taught about the fact that joy and suffering appear side by side in the Bible. I have maintained that the opposite of joy is not sadness, but despair and hopelessness. Is the apostle James totally out of touch with reality when he says, “Consider it pure joy my brothers and sisters when you face trials of many kinds” (James 1:2) or Paul when he says, “We rejoice in our sufferings?” (Romans 5:3).

As Sharon (my wife) and I go through this difficult time together, and as I watch my wife become weaker and her health declining, of course, I have deep sadness. At the same time, she continues to express her readiness to “go and be with Jesus.” She is certainly more ready to go than I am ready to let her go. We also have many happy times of remembering, enjoying one another, and even laughter.

Emotionally, this is the hardest and most demanding work I have ever done in my life. What carries me through? First, my love for my wife. Second, my belief that God is in this, and he is a God of comfort and strength. We are not alone. We are surrounded by a loving, supportive family and church community. We are also surrounded by a loving God who has our best interests in view. His ways are not our ways, but his ways are always good. In his divine wisdom, God is working out his purposes in us as a loving heavenly Father who knows our need, hears our groaning, and brings us comfort and hope day by day.

And yes, I do believe, as the apostles promise, that this time of hardship and suffering is producing in me perseverance and building character and maturity (James 1:2-4; Romans 5:2-5). I am a better man for having endured this hardship. Sharon and I are reminded of what is important in life, and we are growing in faith and hope in God’s ultimate purpose for us—everlasting joy (Isaiah 51:11). This trial will increase our faith. And yes, it is a trial, a testing, and not a meaningless calamity intended to destroy us. God’s intention is to purify us.

Meanwhile, we are stealing many moments of joy already, even amid these present circumstances. Joy and sorrow are often intertwined. I was with my wife in the birth of all four of our children. What I observed was a good deal of pain and hard work, mingled with the joy of a new life being born. And Jesus, “who for the joy set before him endured the cross,” because he had won our redemption. (Hebrews 12:2). Isaac Watts penned these words in his great hymn, “When I survey the Wondrous Cross:”

See, from his head, his hands, his feet,

Sorrow and love flow mingled down.

Did e’er such love and sorrow meet,

Or thorns compose so rich a crown?

It is a great comfort to me to know that Jesus has walked this way before me. I find joy in following in his footsteps. He tasted our infirmities, he knew our suffering, even to the point of death.

Are you in a time of great suffering right now or maybe even approaching the final days of your life? I hope these words will offer you some hope and comfort. May the God of all comfort be very present with you in your time of need.

Last week we considered the joy that comes from forgiving others and from being forgiven. This is a wonderful gift. But some of us may still struggle with lingering guilt for ways we have brought pain to others. We may have a wounded conscience that leaves us crippled by guilt and shame. It may seem impossible to forgive ourselves for what we view as an unforgivably hurtful act on our part. Counselors may help us deal with false guilt, but who is able to truly make us feel clean again on the inside in the wake of actual pain we have caused?

In addition, many of us would also concur with King David that our sin or offense is not simply against another person, but also against the God who made us and loves us.

For I know my transgressions,
    and my sin is always before me.

Against you, you only, have I sinned
    and done what is evil in your sight. (Psalm 51:3-4)

When we hurt another, it creates a cloud between us and that person. Our relationship may be broken and need healing. But for those of us who believe in a personal, Creator God, we recognize that our relationship with God is also broken and in need of renewal. We may find that, even when our relationship with the offended person is restored, we still feel weighed down with guilt and we feel estranged from God.

The good news is that the God of the Bible delights in forgiving sin and sinners:

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
    so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:11-12)

As the Samuel Davies hymn says, “Who is a pardoning God like thee, and who has grace so rich and free?” The message of the New Testament is clear: based on the finished redemptive work of Jesus on the cross, God offers forgiveness and new life to anyone who will receive it. Just as the father forgives the prodigal son who returns, so our Heavenly Father welcomes us home with open arms.

Sin is real and a regular ongoing struggle in our lives. Paul, the apostle, reminds us of this all too familiar list of joy stealers: sexual sin, hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, quarreling, factions, envy, and drunkenness (Galatians 5:19-21). Since we so often give way to these selfish thoughts and feelings, and even the greatest people of faith in the Bible fell into serious sin (King David was guilty of adultery and even murder), what are we to do?

The answer is in biblical teaching of repentance—real repentance, and full repentance. After his sin with Bathsheba, David offers this amazing prayer that becomes a model for all of us, in Psalm 51. Have mercy on me. . . Wash me . . . cleanse me . . . create in me a clean heart O God. We see a confession, a turning away from sin, a remorse and deep sadness. But then a surprising thing happens.

Let me hear joy and gladness;
    let the bones that you have broken rejoice.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
    and uphold me with a willing spirit. (Psalm 51:8, 12)

Full repentance leads to restored joy, which comes from a heart that has been washed clean. For a long time, I thought that the validity of my repentance depended on the depth of my sorrow for my sin. The goal of repentance is not remorse and sadness, the goal of repentance is restored joy. How can this be? It is because God’s forgiveness is real and complete and powerful enough to overcome even the gravest sin.

But what about our conscience, which may be still weighed down with guilt? Do you think your sin is unforgivable, beyond God’s reach for pardon? Read the story of Abraham pretending that his wife was his sister, read the story of David and Bathsheba, read the story of Saul of Tarsus murdering Christians. Anyone who is truly willing to turn to God, to call upon the Lord Jesus to save them, can know forgiveness and cleansing. And the promise is a cleansed conscience.

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:22)

Some of us may be living in a self-made prison and may not be sure how to escape. But If the Son shall make you free you shall be free indeed (John 8:36). Isn’t that what we need, to be set free from guilt and sin? How might you remind yourself, day by day, that you are truly forgiven and set free by the loving heavenly Father? Maybe try writing notes to yourself or repeating the prayer of forgiveness until it truly sinks in. You can join the many who have come to know this liberating experience, as in the Charles Wesley hymn, “My chains fell off, my heart was free, I rose, went forth, and followed thee.”

No human being can offer us a cleansed conscience. Only God can do that, and he is willing. 

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing and a freeing experience that leads us to joy. As humans, we all sometimes hurt others with our words and actions, or even our inaction. We are all also sometimes hurt by others. This can steal our joy for sure. We all know what it is like to hold on to the hurt caused by others. It festers, it gnaws at us, it deepens, and it clouds our whole view of life. When we choose to let it go, to offer forgiveness, even if the person doesn’t ask our forgiveness, we are set free. We are at peace.

Likewise, when we are aware that we have hurt someone else, the sooner we come clean and express our sorrow and ask for forgiveness, the sooner we are released from the guilt and weight of our offense, and the sooner the relationship may be restored.

Every marriage, every close friendship, must be characterized by the continual practice of forgiveness if it is to survive. We are self-centered, self-seeking people by nature. And so we hurt one another. Beyond that, we can be fickle, short-sighted, and sometimes oblivious to the needs of others. When I mention to people that I have been married to the same woman for 56 years, they often ask, “What is your secret?” And I respond, “Commitment, forgiveness, and the grace of God.”

The Bible often uses the imagery of light and darkness. And this process of forgiving and being forgiven can be described as “walking in the light” with one another, keeping short accounts, being open and honest.

John, the Apostle said to his spiritual children, “But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another.” (1 John 1:7). This image of light and darkness strikes me as a very helpful way to describe it. In my experience, when I am holding on to hurt, or sense that I have hurt someone else, it feels like the relationship is broken, or a cloud has settled over me leaving a darkness. But when I confess, or when I forgive, the cloud is lifted, and I feel that I am walking in the light with that person. It is a great feeling to walk in the light, with nothing hindering our relationship, nothing holding us back.

Forgiveness and a restored relationship will bring us abundant joy. And so, John, the Elder, again says, “And we are writing these things so that our joy may be complete.” (1 John 1:4). And again he says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 John 4). The fellowship that comes from walking in the light with one another is sweet, something to be treasured. It is honest, it is humble, it is genuine. We find great freedom in this kind of relationship, the freedom to be ourselves, to speak the truth to one another. No one likes to feel like they are constantly walking on eggshells in a close friendship.

The Greek word for fellowship is koinonia and has the meaning of “sharing in common.” It has been a defining characteristic of the Christian church since the beginning. Sometimes it meant sharing material resources so that no one would be in need. But it always assumes sharing a common faith and common understanding that we are fallible and broken people, that we have been forgiven much by God, and that we will be forgiving people. In fact, the Lord’s Prayer includes the important phrase: Forgive us our debts (sins) as we have also forgiven our debtors. If we refuse to forgive, or are unable to forgive, then we do not understand the central message of the gospel.

Now, I understand that some hurts are very deep with lasting scars. It may take a long period of processing and professional counseling to come to terms with the depth of our pain. And sadly, in our broken world, it may mean that we cannot and should not place ourselves in a position of vulnerability to the one who has hurt us in this way. Forgiving someone is not the same as excusing or minimizing what they did. But forgiveness is essential to our own ability to heal and move on from the emotional damage of our wound. And it is crucial to our spiritual wellbeing. And at the end of this long road, joy will come. Please don’t give up on joy.

Next time we will talk about the joy of being forgiven by God, with a restored cleansed conscience.

I came across this song by Gizmo Varillas, an emerging singer-songwriter (born in Spain, lives in Wales), Freedom For a Change, a very gentle song which captures much of the spirit of forgiveness.

Susan was a missionary in Romania, very gifted and intelligent, a part of the international team working with university students. As coordinator for Eastern Europe, I was supervising this team and visiting them regularly. During one visit our team leader asked me to talk with Susan because she was not doing well. She was driving herself very hard—working constantly, not getting enough sleep—and her health was deteriorating. We were concerned that we might have to send Susan home to restore her health. So I talked with her. I said, “Susan, we are concerned about your health and overwork. You have said that you believe that God has called you to Romania for life, but we may have to send you home. You are going to need to learn what it means to rest in Jesus, really rest.” I shared the passage in Matthew 11:28–30, where Jesus invites us to come to him and find rest for our souls. She responded, “You’re right. I am going to get up forty-five minutes earlier for the next three months to study everything the Bible has to say about rest.” I just smiled. Finally, she said, “That’s probably not what you had in mind, is it?” “No, it isn’t,” I said. But Susan did learn to rest in Jesus. Her health improved, and I am happy to report that she is still serving the Lord joyfully in Romania.

Can we learn the art of finding restfulness even in our work? If we can do this, we will find joy abounding. Jesus is not a harsh taskmaster. He is gentle and lowly of heart. Yes, he invites us to come under his yoke, but his yoke is easy, and his burden is light, and we will find rest for our souls. Isn’t that what we long for, deep down inside? Not just rest for our bodies, but rest for our souls? We don’t need to keep striving and proving ourselves. We don’t need to try to make ourselves look good. Trying to prove ourselves is the hardest work we will ever do, and the most unsatisfying. And it is never done. Tim Keller says, “There is a work beneath our work that we really need rest from. It is the work of self-justification.”

For many of us, not just our work, but our whole life is characterized by restlessness. We get caught up in striving, competing, improving our status and our standing. This could be in our job, in our marriage, with our friends, in the community. We are rebels at heart, even those of us who have tasted that rest. We run, we hide, we worry, we try harder, we chase, we clutch after those elusive things that can never give rest to our souls.  We chase after success, a secure income, the good life. We frantically fill our lives with activity and things and noise.

Augustine’s famous prayer is so appropriate for us:

Lord, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in you (Confessions 1.1.1).

This is a rest you can live with, really live. It is available to us every day, and any time during the day.

When I am poring over the household finances, when I am perplexed by a decision I must make, when I am frustrated over a project at work, when I am discouraged by a disrespectful attitude from my children or a harsh comment from a colleague at work, I need to stop and ask—whose yoke am I wearing now?  Most likely it’s one I have made for myself, and it is no fun. There is no joy there.

Meanwhile, Jesus is standing with open arms and saying, Come to me, I will give you rest for your souls, such as the world neither knows nor comprehends. I made you; I know what you need. Jesus is on our side; he is for us. He beckons us to come under the protection of his yoke, his forgiveness, and his leadership. We can work beneath his smile. When we live in this way, our labor is not toilsome, but light and a pleasure. There is freedom here too, freedom from the enslavement of proving ourselves. Another beautiful benefit of living this way is that even the most mundane tasks in our day can become very meaningful, even sacred. I entreat you to try this new and radical outlook. You will find flourishing joy.

Rest. It seems so simple, But it’s not, is it. With the pace of life and the demands upon us (either self-imposed or from others), rest often eludes us. Long term tiredness, weariness, and stress can become a way of life. The experience of peace and joy may seem like something in the far distant past.

When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd (Matthew 9:36).

To be joyful, we need to set aside times of what the Bible calls Sabbath Rest. I am learning to love God’s gift of Sabbath rest. I know, that for some, the mention of Sabbath may not evoke pleasant memories. The Hebrew word Shabbat simply means to cease, to stop.  Sabbath was then established as an ordinance for the great benefit of humanity. Imagine life without Sabbath rest—a meaningless, monotonous, endless flow of days. Why would anyone want to live that way? And yet, that is what we often do.

Work and rest are the two first creation gifts to us (Genesis 2:1-3). These rhythms of work and rest are built into the wiring of our being and into our universe. We can ignore it, but it will be to our peril. We will suffer serious loss to our physical and emotional health, a loss of what it means to be human and made in God’s image.  And we will miss out on wonderful times of joy.

Work can provide dignity and meaning to our lives. But in our modern society, work can become workaholism and cause us to be driven people. “Time is money,” I sometimes hear people say. “So, when I rest, I am losing money, or maybe I am losing out to my competitors.” Likewise, the gift of Sabbath can be turned into a heavy burden, as we see with the religious rulers of Jesus’ day. What a tragedy, to take this wonderful blessing and turn it into a guilt-producing legalistic duty.

What does it mean to rest, really rest? For one thing, it means to get off the treadmill, to step off the productivity highway, and to simply waste time (by some standards). To stop, to cease from our striving. Life is like a river; it keeps on flowing. Every day, throughout the day, we keep having more experiences, more encounters, good things, hurtful things, that produce varying reactions in us. It piles up and becomes a muddle of stuff happening to us. And that heap of muddle creates stress and disorientation. It dulls our senses.

Sometimes we need to step out of the river, to watch and reflect and consider what is happening to us. Who am I? Where am I headed? Do I like where I am going? Do I like who I am becoming? Stepping out of the river will mean different things to each of us. For some, it may involve Mindfulness exercises to get in touch with our body, our feelings, and our stressors. There are a myriad practitioners online ready to guide people in Mindfulness exercises.

For me, it includes that but quickly moves into Prayerfulness. I like to practice a “walking-talking” relationship with God where I review my day with Him. I want to invite God’s presence into my day, to rest in his promises. Besides the questions mentioned above, I also ask, How have I sensed God’s presence this day; where have I felt his absence? What are the things for which I can give thanks? What are things I need to forgive and where do I need to seek forgiveness? This sometimes involves journaling. These questions have been a practice of the people of God for centuries and are taken from the Examen by St. Ignatius in the 1500s.

It should be obvious by now that we are not thinking of Sabbath rest as merely one day in the week, but a daily, regular practice. When we do this, we can even bring restfulness into our working time, and restfulness becomes a way of life. Imagine work and daily chores without stress and drudgery! This is God’s precious gift and intension for us. Of course, we will fail and fall into old patterns of worry and anxiety, grinding and slogging our way through the day. But we can quickly come to our senses and remember that we don’t have to live that way. And I would add, God never intended us to live that way.

 Consider this amazing, generous invitation by Jesus. It is earthshaking . . . if we take it seriously:

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

Isn’t that what we want, to find rest for our souls?

God knows a secret about us. We are forgetful people. We quickly grow dull and ho hum about the blessings of life. I know I do. I sometimes feel like I am suffering from some sort of spiritual amnesia. And so, my grateful heart withers, and my joy is quickly gone.

Yes, this is our tendency. When we are in trouble, feeling lost, confused, in pain, we cry out to the Lord for help and deliverance. But when things are going well and we are comfortable and cozy, we take things for granted, and we forget the giver of the gifts.

Fortunately for us, God provides abundant means to help us remember his goodness. In the Jewish tradition, probably the most memorized words of Scripture are found in the Shema (Deuteronomy 6:4-12). Moses recites the essential truths and blessings of the Lord, then ends with a warning: “And when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.”

The Hebrew Festivals were times of remembering, times to give thanks, and therefore times of great joy. They were designed to help people remember the Lord’s goodness and blessing. For example, the Festival of Tabernacles was a harvest festival, and a time to remember how God provided for them when they wandered in tents through the desert.

¹³ Celebrate the Festival of Tabernacles for seven days after you have gathered the produce of your threshing floor and your winepress. ¹⁴ Be joyful at your festival—you, your sons and daughters, your male and female servants, and the Levites, the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns. ¹⁵ For seven days celebrate the festival to the Lord your God at the place the Lord will choose. For the Lord your God will bless you in all your harvest and in all the work of your hands, and your joy will be complete. (Deut. 16:11-15)

The Hebrew festivals were calls to remember God’s great acts of redemption.

• Remember that you were slaves in Egypt
• Remember how I saved you and delivered you out of Egypt
• Remember that you wandered 40 years in the wilderness
• Remember how I provided food and water for you in the wilderness
• Remember the many harvests that you enjoyed at my hand.

This Feast of Tabernacles is sort of a precursor to our Thanksgiving. The American Festival of Thanksgiving still boasts the most travel, for gathering of families, of all the holidays. And for some of us, it is a festival that may run for several days. It was originally designed as a harvest festival to give thanks for God’s bountiful provision of food, shelter, families, and multiple blessings.

I have become more aware that I clearly need these regular established times of remembering with thanksgiving. So, for me, mealtimes are natural opportunities to give thanks to God for his generous provision. Honestly, I had become lax and repetitious with this practice. Lately, I have been using this opportunity to remember that “every good and perfect gift comes from above” (James 1:17), and so I give thanks for food and other recent displays of God’s good gifts. “Everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving” (I Timothy 4:4). We can sanctify these gifts with our thankful prayers. Let’s not allow these, 3-times-daily, opportunities slip by us. Make it real, make it sincere, and feel the joy flood into your life.

Finally, I was listening again the other day to a lecture by Brene Brown (author of Daring Greatly). She has a lot to say about joy and gratitude. She noted that when things are going very well in our lives—our job is good, our home is good, our children are doing well, we are surrounded by loyal friends—her studies show that instead of basking in the joy of our circumstances, 90% of us begin to think, “Oh, no this can’t last! What could go wrong? When will the other shoe drop?” And we begin to worry and imagine all sorts of catastrophic events that may come our way. I know this routine. This is, of course, a pathetic way to live. I will come back to this topic of worry and anxiety, but what struck me, in Brene Brown’s presentation is that she said the best antidote to this kind of worry is . . . gratefulness. Yep, that’s it. Sure, things can go wrong, and hard times will come. But the key is to live in the moment, to let ourselves be grateful and joyful now for these good things. Soak up the sunshine of this day rather than worrying about the clouds that will come.

Surely, if we believe in a God who is good and trustworthy, we can revel in these good gifts even though they may be passing. And we can trust him to carry us through whatever trials that may come.

On a scale of one to ten, how is your gratefulness meter? Which of these practices could you make a regular part of your daily life right now?

We are continuing with our consideration of a grateful heart because it is so essential to our experience of joy. Grateful people are joyful people. Why is this?  Isn’t it true that when we have an open heart to thanksgiving, we also open ourselves to many other realities and perspectives—God’s presence and graciousness toward us and our happy dependence on God for his provision? We become aware of how blessed we are; we recognize the fulness of life Jesus offers to us. We see ourselves being held in the loving arms of the Almighty. We remember the goodness of God in our lives; some of us have known that goodness for a very long time.

If you are not by nature a grateful person, you are in good company. This does not come naturally for me, or for many of us who tend to be “prophet-type” personalities. I am discovering that I can be deeply concerned about all the suffering and injustice in the world, and still be a grateful person. We can be world-affirming and yet seek to be world-changers.

One simple, but profound exercise in gratefulness is to be thankful for the people who gave us life. In the recent movie, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Fred Rogers (played by Tom Hanks) has an encounter with a reporter who is doing an article on Rogers for Esquire Magazine (based on a true story). The reporter is pretty cynical about life and skeptical about Rogers’ TV show, having been hurt by his own father who has recently come back into his life. He is very angry at his father and is not able to forgive him. The reporter is frustrated with this assignment and finding it hard to get time to interview Rogers. Finally, Fred Rogers invites the reporter to lunch at his favorite restaurant. They have some good conversation, then Rogers pauses and asks the reporter if he would be willing to join him in a little one-minute exercise that he likes to practice, to just pause and be silent, and “be grateful for those who gave us life.” Reluctantly, the reporter agrees. Then they begin the one-minute exercise of silence, which seems like a long time on a movie screen. Gradually, the camera scans the other tables in the restaurant, and slowly all the people at those tables stop their conversation and join the silent exercise of gratitude. Apparently, Mr. Rogers frequents this restaurant, and the people know this exercise! We see Mr. Rogers eyes tenderly viewing all the people as they become quiet. Then his eyes look directly into the camera, and I thought, he is looking at me. And I realized that this was an invitation for me, sitting in the theater, to take a moment to give thanks for those who gave me life. So I did, and it was good. And it made me feel very warm and joyful.

One woman from our church shared with me that this is a hard exercise for her because she had been seriously abused by her father. This is a very sad reality for many, and I can see how this practice would be hard. I also know that some of us have been raised by someone other than our birth parents. We can also make this an opportunity to give thanks for the people who have invested in us, who have spoken into our lives and helped us thrive. It may be a teacher, a family friend, an author, a mentor, or a pastor. I can think of several names that immediately come to mind. Can I invite you, right now, to take one minute to express to God your gratitude for them? Maybe even write their names in a journal or on a card. I have found this to be a very meaningful exercise along the way to joy.

We had all our children home for Christmas this year (some coming from Papua New Guinea and Germany). This was an especially significant time since my wife’s health is failing and we are not sure how long we will have her with us. On one occasion, we gathered just our four children, my wife and I for a time of reflection and remembering. We took turns holding her hand and looking into her eyes. Then at one point our son was moved to put her hand on his chest, and she said, “I can feel your heartbeat.” And he said, “Yes, that’s what you gave me, mom.” A very touching and memorable moment.

Who gave you your heartbeat? Who helped you to flourish?

Are you a grateful person? Gratitude does not come easy for many of us. If you are like me, you may find yourself prone to think, “What have you done for me lately, Lord?” But I am learning to cultivate a grateful heart. And this is essential to the experience of joy. Thankfulness and joy go hand in hand.

To be sure, the world has much that is wrong with it, but we also find an abundance of goodness and beauty. One simple practice that can help us become more grateful is to wake up giving thanks for five things each morning. Let’s list just a few of the things for which we can give thanks. We can be thankful for:

• A night of restful sleep
• A new day
• Food and drink
• Friends and family
• Our life and breath this day
• A measure of good health (even when we have aches and pains)
• Shelter and warmth and safety
• Work that we can do
• Play that we can enjoy, exercise
• An act of kindness by a stranger
• The sunshine and rain
• The earth with all its abundance
• The beauty of the trees and plants (how many shades of green in your neighborhood?)
• The sky, the clouds, the changing seasons

Can you add a few more?

This is just a sampling. Each day brings many occasions to rejoice and give thanks if we take notice. Let yourself be surprised by a kind word, a meaningful conversation, a beautiful scene, the taste of food, a job well done. Our days can be interesting and exciting if we take notice and mark these things as gifts.

If we only dwell on the negative things that happen to us during any given day, we will be left with a spirit of ungratefulness, which will surely rob us of our joy. It is easy to fall into a mindset of entitlement, that we deserve better. In this case we will rarely be truly satisfied or happy.

Rather, we must come to a realization that all of life is a gift: my breath, my life, my mind, my body, my health, and this amazingly good earth that we freely inhabit. Then we will become grateful people, bursting with joy.

Of course, this does not mean we should be oblivious to the sadness and suffering of others. We may also find joy in weeping with those who weep, but we will come to that later.

George Herbert, the 17^th century English poet, has expressed it so well in his poem, “Gratefulness”:

We will have much more to say about gratefulness. Come back next time for another taste of this important “friend of joy.”

I want to invite you on a journey, a journey that I have been on for many years now. It is the journey of joy. Joy has not come easily for me. I am not a naturally joyful person. In some ways I have been a joy-skeptic. I am analytical by nature, and I often focus on what is wrong with the world, a prophet-type personality.

One day, several years ago, our oldest daughter, our missionary midwife daughter was home visiting from her work in Sudan. We were having breakfast, just the two of us, and she said to me, “Dad, you seem to have lost some of your joy lately.” Now she is one of the gentlest people that I know, and so I took notice. It was an understatement. And I guess God helped me to get beyond my defensive responses. I said, “Okay, tell me more.” And she did and suggested a book to read. And so began my journey of joy which continues to this day.

Joy is a great gift that seems to be in short supply today. Almost everyone I know would like to have more joy in their life. There are some who seem to have given up on joy altogether, and some others, maybe a whole generation who may be losing their capacity for joy. But for most, joy is still that great prize, that supreme treasure they would like to find. I believe we are made for joy, the desire for joy is in our blood. But I know many people who would say they have somehow lost their joy, others have never found it.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not referring to some sort of shallow, put-on-a-happy-face, Pollyannaish happy feeling that makes us oblivious to the suffering and sadness of people all around us. True joy will make us more caring and compassionate toward others. In fact, “take away my joy and I am of no use to anyone,” as George Macdonald states in Adela Cathcart.

This is not going to be a “how to” discussion on how to find joy. There is no secret formula; there are not “six easy steps to finding deep joy.” In fact, I have come to the conclusion that we don’t find joy by seeking joy. We find joy by finding something else. Joy is a by-product. And I think we intuitively know this. We are always joyful over something.

I would be honored if you would allow me to be your guide on this journey of joy. It is my deep desire that you would come to experience this wonderful gift of joy. We will look at “practices” that will build more joy in our lives, as well as the “practices and mindsets” that can steal our joy. We will reflect carefully on these practices as we go along on this journey.

But first, can you think of a time in your life when you were especially joyful. Maybe in your childhood, maybe a special event or a family vacation. What was it that made you feel very joyful? Can you relive that memory and that feeling? Don’t worry if you can’t think of something. We will be delving into practices that will help bring whole new experiences of deep joy in your life.

Would you say that this is a particularly joyful time in your life right now?  How would you rate your joy-meter on a scale of 1-10? If you are not feeling very joyful these days, what would you say is the primary thing that robs your joy? Once again, if you are not feeling especially joyful right now, or maybe not for a long time, please stay with me and by God’s grace, we will journey more deeply into genuine joy.

Soon to be released book by Daniel J Denk