Thank you for your patience. If you have been following my blog, you know that I lost my dear wife, Sharon, after 56 years of marriage, about a month ago. I have been taking time for what I hope is healthy grieving and healing, so I am a bit late with this post. But this post is also part of my healing.
Along the way, my grandchildren are teaching me some important lessons about grieving and joy. Their presence always lifts my spirits. They are very sad to lose their grandma, and they miss her greatly. They always gave her big hugs when they came into the house. But they are trusting that she is with Jesus now and that God will care for them, and life will go on. As they become absorbed serious play, I watch them get lost in their games, running and jumping with imaginative drama, and it is pure joy. And I often get drawn into their playfulness.
I suspect that most of us who are adults have gladly put our childhood behind us with all its idealism and self-absorption. But there is a great difference between being childish and childlike. George MacDonald is known for his fairy tales and books for children. But he insists, “I write, not for children, but for the child-like, whether they be of five, or fifty, or seventy-five.” And Jesus made it clear that “Unless we become like little children, we can never enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” The Kingdom that Jesus came to offer is a Kingdom of Joy.
To be honest, it doesn’t come easy for me to step into this childlike frame of mind. I am prone to be cautious, calculating, and careful. It seems to me that most adults are not very good at being childlike. We don’t want to appear foolish or immature and especially not irresponsible. As a result, we miss out on a lot of fun and joyfulness.
Think back on the scenes with Mr. Banks expressing his disapproval of the playfulness that Mary Poppins was bringing into their house, and his absolute horror in discovering that his children were spending their pennies to feed the birds. But then we see the transformation of character when this same Mr. Banks gets caught up in the fun of flying a kite and the world of “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.”
But perhaps the most important quality of childhood is not just fun, but trust. Children are not prone to worrying or viewing themselves as self-reliant. Their very sense of dependence on their parents and other adults puts them in a position of trust.
And I am finding that the loss of my wife puts me in a position of uncharted territory, a whole new terrain in life. I am sometimes disoriented, and it is very hard for me to see what lies ahead. I really can’t imagine life without her. So, while I am always dependent on God (far more than I realize), now I am keenly aware of that dependence in a way that makes me cling to God as a child clings to his mother. I am trusting God in a whole new way. And this is good, and even a little exciting—a new adventure. Oh yes, it is painful and confusing at times, but this sense of “just you and me God” is both frightening and exhilarating at the same time. That familiar verse from Proverbs 3:5-6 is becoming a vital part of my relationship with God.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.
I need the Lord to make my paths straight right now because this is a new path for me. I don’t know the way ahead. I am going to need help navigating the grief, figuring out who I am as a widowed person, and dealing with the aloneness. I find myself singing that old Spiritual: “If we ever needed the Lord before, we sure to need him now.” And I really like the Take 6 version of this song. It is both joyful and aware of our dependence on the Lord.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_avcdMEeCs
How are you doing with your childlike joy. It may feel like something in the far distant past or another lifetime. Or your childhood may not have seemed very happy at all. Perhaps it was cut short by trauma and troubles in the adult world around you. Jesus is still the great healer, and he invites us to trust him as he trusts the Father. How are we doing with trust? This is a crucial question, and we will pick that up next time.
I could relate very well to your comparison of childish to child-like. In my “messing with people”, I strive to bring smiles and joy to people in a child-like way but sometimes I fear that it is misinterpreted as childish.
Dick, just keep on trying to make people smile. Jesus was often misunderstood also.
Dan, could you send me your mailing address? I’m an old fashioned card sender and I have one I want to send you. It depicts the JOY in troubling times. It’s a picture originally painted by Jim’s cousin that’s been made into a card. It’s one of my favorites as I have dealt with losing family and friends.