We are continuing with our consideration of a grateful heart because it is so essential to our experience of joy. Grateful people are joyful people. Why is this? Isn’t it true that when we have an open heart to thanksgiving, we also open ourselves to many other realities and perspectives—God’s presence and graciousness toward us and our happy dependence on God for his provision? We become aware of how blessed we are; we recognize the fulness of life Jesus offers to us. We see ourselves being held in the loving arms of the Almighty. We remember the goodness of God in our lives; some of us have known that goodness for a very long time.
If you are not by nature a grateful person, you are in good company. This does not come naturally for me, or for many of us who tend to be “prophet-type” personalities. I am discovering that I can be deeply concerned about all the suffering and injustice in the world, and still be a grateful person. We can be world-affirming and yet seek to be world-changers.
One simple, 
but profound exercise in gratefulness is to be thankful for the people who gave us life. In the recent movie, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, Fred Rogers (played by Tom Hanks) has an encounter with a reporter who is doing an article on Rogers for Esquire Magazine (based on a true story). The reporter is pretty cynical about life and skeptical about Rogers’ TV show, having been hurt by his own father who has recently come back into his life. He is very angry at his father and is not able to forgive him. The reporter is frustrated with this assignment and finding it hard to get time to interview Rogers. Finally, Fred Rogers invites the reporter to lunch at his favorite restaurant. They have some good conversation, then Rogers pauses and asks the reporter if he would be willing to join him in a little one-minute exercise that he likes to practice, to just pause and be silent, and “be grateful for those who gave us life.” Reluctantly, the reporter agrees. Then they begin the one-minute exercise of silence, which seems like a long time on a movie screen. Gradually, the camera scans the other tables in the restaurant, and slowly all the people at those tables stop their conversation and join the silent exercise of gratitude. Apparently, Mr. Rogers frequents this restaurant, and the people know this exercise! We see Mr. Rogers eyes tenderly viewing all the people as they become quiet. Then his eyes look directly into the camera, and I thought, he is looking at me. And I realized that this was an invitation for me, sitting in the theater, to take a moment to give thanks for those who gave me life. So I did, and it was good. And it made me feel very warm and joyful.
One woman from our church shared with me that this is a hard exercise for her because she had been seriously abused by her father. This is a very sad reality for many, and I can see how this practice would be hard. I also know that some of us have been raised by someone other than our birth parents. We can also make this an opportunity to give thanks for the people who have invested in us, who have spoken into our lives and helped us thrive. It may be a teacher, a family friend, an author, a mentor, or a pastor. I can think of several names that immediately come to mind. Can I invite you, right now, to take one minute to express to God your gratitude for them? Maybe even write their names in a journal or on a card. I have found this to be a very meaningful exercise along the way to joy.
We had all our children home for Christmas this year (some coming from Papua New Guinea and Germany). This was an especially significant time since my wife’s health is failing and we are not sure how long we will have her with us. On one occasion, we gathered just our four children, my wife and I for a time of reflection and remembering. We took turns holding her hand and looking into her eyes. Then at one point our son was moved to put her hand on his chest, and she said, “I can feel your heartbeat.” And he said, “Yes, that’s what you gave me, mom.” A very touching and memorable moment.
Who gave you your heartbeat? Who helped you to flourish?
I like what you said about learning that you can be deeply concerned with the suffering in the world and still be a grateful person. This is a difficult balance but I do believe that God wants us to live in joy and not take on more than what He’s asked us to. He can handle the weight of the suffering in the world while we surely cannot.
Hi Mary Clare, thanks for the comment. It is good to hear from you. Wishing you God’s blessing this day.